By: Timothy C Hare
My girlfriend tells me that the hardest part of roller derby is the ground. All jokes aside, the visiting team (Mobile’s Derby Darlings) had to learn that lesson first hand with the Acadiana Roller Girls winning after a significant lead of 385-84.
She’s a new member to the Roller Girls working her way onto the roster. Being the great significant other that I am, I decided to join her and help out. We showed up early to help set up, quickly realizing the amount of community support given to these girls. There were groups of people setting up booths and chairs for spectators, even laying down track lines. You won’t find any dainty, helpless women in this arena, these girls are completely capable of handling any of the tasks here and won’t hesitate to prove it.
You won’t find any dainty, helpless women in this arena…
Rubber suddenly pressed violently into the rink, I heard thunder as if Thor himself were hammering on this track. Following some very last minute readings into the rules I concluded this… “there are two teams that consist of blockers and One Jammer. The Jammers job is to get past the blockers to be awarded points for every blocker they pass. The Blockers job to stop the opposing jammer the best they can. The team with the jammer around the track the most times is the winner.
After gathering my wits, I turned focus to the arena just in time to see the incredible velocity at which Foxxi Cleosmackuya #7 was flying around the rink, passing blockers with amazing agility. I couldn’t imagine anyone moving around on skates the way these girls do. Roller Derby isn’t your run-of-the-mill push and shove game, it’s a full contact sport. Seeing Beete Yer Bollocks #606 rocketing around the track dancing through the blockers so effortlessly and Frisky Risky #21 powerfully drop it/like/its/hot on some of these jammers, had me feeling like someone should send flowers to their next of kin. I had for example witnessed earlier in the night an unsuspecting jammer come around the rink, realizing far too late what they were truly up against. Risky, poised to strike unleashed those hips making contact with a jammer attempting to pierce the line. She flew out of the ring at least 10 feet, laying there a moment trying to gather what exactly just propelled her through the air. Needless to say, I watched this jammer avoid whatever side Risky was on for the rest of the game.
She flew out of the ring at least 10 feet…
Freetown Press 
So… Was this a new team they were playing or does this team routinely stomp other players into dust? Seems like a poor matchup, maybe poor sportsmanship.
Roller derby is exciting but I’m not sure I’d want to see such an unfair slaughter.
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Unfortunately, like many of the smaller teams in the surrounding area, Both ARG and MDD are in a rebuilding phase. In such a case skill matches are hard to judge and are based off of previous season results. If anything it was more or less a matter of poor timing that lead to a mismatch, but it was by no means poor sportsmanship..both teams were super classy and played their best. Everyone left the track with smiles, high fives, and hugs.
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